☕ Can New Uniforms Help Starbucks Increase Profits?

In today’s newsletter I discuss if new uniforms can help Starbucks increase profits, OpenFans founder Tim Stokely launches new platform Subs.com to compete with his old company, you could win a Golden Globe for podcasting in 2026, Perplexity AI raises another $500 million dollars at a $14 billion dollar valuation, the founder of bankrupt Celsius Network is going to prison for 12 years for fraud, and goats tried to interrupt a bike race in Italy.
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WHAT WE’RE READING

☕ Can New Uniforms Help Starbucks Increase Profits?

Someone’s going to look really snazzy in their new uniforms starting this week.

Starbucks baristas across North America have a new simplified dress code consisting of solid black shirts, and khaki or black bottoms.

Why might you ask is Starbucks changing their dress code? Well, they’ve said they really want their green aprons to pop, and this new dress code will help to create a better and more consistent customer experience.” Each barista will be receiving two free black t-shirts to help with this wardrobe change.

Starbucks is hoping this streamlining of their uniforms will significantly boost their net earnings, which saw a 23.8% drop to $780.8 million in the last quarter. 

Nothing says "increased profits" like a monotone wardrobe.

🤖 Business

My favorite AI search engine, Perplexity AI, is raising another massive funding round and an even more insane valuation. The funding round is reportedly $500 million dollars at a crazy $14 billion dollar valuation, which is up from a valuation of $9 billion dollars just six months ago when they raised $500 million dollars back in December of 2024.

Competing with OpenAI to see who can raise more money is exhausting.

👙 Tech

The founder of OpenFans, Tim Stokely, has just launched a new platform called Subs.com to compete with his former company. Strange strategy, but ok then.

Unlike his first start OnlyFans, Subs.com will not focus predominantly on adult content, and instead will market their service to a broader range of content creators, podcasters, athletes, and musicians. The new service will offer video hosting, paid subscriptions, and one-on-one interactions with fans. I think we can all see where this is going.

Let me ask you a question:

Do you know what was the first industry to make money on the Internet?

If you guessed porn, you can probably guess where Subs.com will pivot their business eventually. “If it ain’t broke then don’t try and fix it” they say.

🏆 Entertainment

Podcasting is finally getting its time in the sun. The content medium has been growing leaps-and-bounds in the last few years, and now the Golden Globes is adding a new category in 2026 recognizing podcasts. The podcasting industry in the U.S. is projected to generate advertising revenues of $2.38 billion dollars in 2025, up from only $105.7 million dollars a decade ago. Globally the podcasting market is estimated to be worth $35 billion dollars in 2025.

After years of talking into the void that is the Internet, it's nice for podcasters to finally be recognized…at least by someone other than their moms, or am I the only one?

🪙 Crypto

When it comes to fraud, if you do the crime you better be prepared to do the time.

Alexander Mashinsky, who founded the now-bankrupt crypto lender Celsius Network, was just sentenced to 12 years in prison after being found guilty of fraud and market manipulation after he misled investors about the company's financial health. Specifically, he told investors all their crypto assets were in a safe place earning a high interest rate, meanwhile he was manipulating the price of Celsius's own token CEL by using customer funds. He made about $48 million dollars from this fraud, while his customers lost billions of dollars when the platform’s $4.7 billion dollars in assets were frozen.

I’m sure he’ll be kicking himself in the butt when over the next 12 years while he watches this crypto bull run propel Bitcoin to a high of $106,300 and it’s still running.

🐐 Sports

You know what we don’t do enough stories about these days? Goats! Well let’s change that.

Over the weekend during the Giro d'Italia, which is a cycling race that starts in Albania and ends in Italy, a herd of goats ran out in front of the cyclists. One specific rogue goat charged at cyclist Dion Smith from New Zealander. He was able to avoid a collision with the goat by swerving onto the grass and continue his race.

Neither the cyclist nor the goat were injured.

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irl Media NEWSLETTER is written, edited, and published by Chris Thompson.